No doubt most women expecting the arrival of her
precious newborn baby anticipates that moment during her ultrasound when her
doctor happily announces “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” The scary part is, in
that same exact moment whether that newborn will be brought into an environment
filled with pink or blue is automatically decided, respectively. Whether that
child will be expected to play with Barbie dolls or toy trucks, whether they
will be expected to grow to become a nurse or police officer all rides on those
3 words. As that child grows they will be faced with expectations of how to
act, how to think, and how to dress all based on their sex. Their social and
behavioral norms will be depicted by society, by media, by text. Those
expectations will follow them from the second they exit their mothers womb to the
moment they inhale their very last breath of air.
Personally speaking, I sure am no new born, but I
have definitely made the bumpy transition from childhood to adolescence
successfully. As a female teenager, I myself have been faced with many social
and behavioral norms from simply being told to ‘sit like a lady’ to being told
I can only engage in certain professions as a female. The pressure to live up
to the norms set by society, media and text grow dramatically each day as it
probably does for men. Now in my last year of high school, these sex based
social and behavioral norms known as gender roles have never caught my
attention more than now more specifically, the hookup culture.
The hookup culture as defined by Wikipedia is “one
that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters focused on physical
pleasure without necessarily including emotional bonding.” The term ‘hookup’
can however be used to indicate any ‘activity’ from kissing to sexual
intercourse.
At a recent get together dominated by the presence of
mostly boys, carrying a conversation had never been more of a challenge trying
to talk over all the boys fantasizing over the latest girls they had just had
sex with or used for pleasure. These boys praised each other for what was to them accomplishments. At first my female friends and I sat there in
awe over the subordination of these females they were talking about, but it was
only a matter of minutes before we jumped in to ask why hooking up was no
longer with that person you longed to be with, but rather a competition amongst
who could do it the most. The conversation then shifted as we asked the guys to
place a woman in their shoes and with no hesitation words like ‘tramp,’ ‘whore,’
‘slut,’ and ‘prostitute’ were blurted out. Was this nothing but an immature,
ignorant typical teenage conversation or an example of how society and media
have essentially portrayed that it’s ok for men to think and act this way?
Now more than ever, the portrayal of men hooking up
is seen in shows such as Spring Rush where a typical college student is shown
partying, getting drunk, having sex and what not. When you have young boys and
even girls that are watching these types of things, to them it becomes ok, it
becomes normal because they see it and are objective to the fact that shows like
that are purely for entertainment. What that entertainment does is create a
divide between where it’s ok to cross the line. As a result we end up with
young boys who practically set out to as we’ve all probably heard think with
their penis as opposed to females who think with their heart. It becomes normal
because in all that we see, all that we read and we know is that girls must be
emotional, they must treasure their virginity, they must not lack self worth
and they must always have their guard up and wait for that right person. As
females, hearing things like that raises the bar so much higher to not fall
into the rising pressure to be looked down upon because of not wanting commitment
or a long lasting relationship.
It’s sad that
in society today, especially in the teenage culture girls and even women are
objectified by men, it’s no longer about having that person that you love to
share that kind of intimate life or pleasure with but instead just meeting
someone and thinking “Oh, I would totally have sex with her.” Don’t get me
wrong, it’s no question there are females out there that think and feel that way too, but my question to you is- why is it
that woman are scrutinized and essentially disrespected for hooking up with men
when men do just the same if not twice as worse yet get appraisal and status?
Also, the hookup culture is prevalent in North
American colleges and universities. Where do you think the mental transition between
the ignorance of adolescence and engaging in hookups occur? What factors may
affect this?
I would like to start off by saying how your blog is very interesting and i really enjoyed it !
ReplyDeleteWe can all agree that discrimination towards women has been a part of this world since the big bang or the creation of this world by God or how ever you want to put it. Like some religions would say eve was made for Adam, basically saying that the women was made for the men. Women have always been seen as a baby machine, care giver, care taker, cook, someone to seek pleasure from and basically a object of possession for the man. Men being seen as the superior gender in the society gives them the "right" to objectify or possess women and get away with it, but what makes men superior to women ? Nowadays women stand shoulder to shoulder with men in every field of life and the reason why it happened now is that they were never given the opportunity before. It is just a way of thinking or call it a stereotype that women are gentle,graceful,weak, beautiful, in need of dominant figure above them and if they don't live up to this stereotype they are UNFEMININE ! So coming to your question that why are men "allowed" to do all this "hooking up" and being praised for it but when women do the same they are called "sluts" or "whores" .. it is because they are SUPPOSED to be "feminine" and if they choose to do all this it means that they are a disgrace to the society. It is just a way of thinking that needs to be changed. In my opinion men and women are supposed to be treated equally and if it is wrong for a women to do such acts then so it is for a man too.
2. All of this comes from the media and the culture around you.The movies we watch , the shows on television everything around us promotes such behavior. When your at a certain age basically in your mid teens that is when you are influenced by the things around you. Living in the western world it is something that comes to you in a broader range and even if you don't fall under the influence because the upbringing of your family is good, peer pressure is always there to kick that factor out too.
3.Going back to what i previously said that men and women should be treated equally, I would say that the term "slut" is usually used for the females so it is wrong unless it is used for the males in the same manner it was used for the females. I highly discourage the "hooking up culture" as to me it is very wrong, be it a man or women. So if anyone does involve in such activity they stand equally in my eyes apart their gender.
After reading this blog post I can really understand where you’re coming from, even if I felt a little insulted by the representation of males in your post. I do agree that for most of human history women have been under represented and only thought of as a baby-making factory or a sex-object. And I like how you started of your post by showing the strings attached to being male or female, but I felt you diverged too much onto the female side making the pressures of being a male role as a no big deal and that females are the only ones victimized from this. I understand as a female teen you probably don't have too much insight on the lifestyle of the opposite sex outside of close friends or family, but that is not excuse to paint males like a villain in your post. Many things you said are true, I admit that, but you could gave more reminders like "but of course this does not apply to all males" or "by most/some men" etc. To quote you, “It’s sad that in society today, especially in the teenage culture girls and even women are objectified by men...". I find that extremely rude and impertinent. That implies that all men just think of females as objects for pleasure. I agree with you for basically the rest of the post except for your overall stereotyping of men.
ReplyDelete1. I believe men get praised while females are shunned for this is because how they are as people. Most males when going through puberty tend to develop sexual desires before the longing for a stable, loving relationship. For females it is the opposite. This makes young males more prone to want be a “lady’s man” while young females are more likely to want to be with 1 person they care about. So this in turn affected our culture into forcing these images onto everyone. Men are now raised to embrace their sexual desires while women are told to be careful and only give their virginity to their future husband. There are several people who don’t want fill these roles and each give names accordingly. For females its slut, whore, etc and more males its pussy, gay (not a real insult, but people use it anyway), etc. In conclusion the reason why men are appraised for being promiscuous and females are accepted to be very careful and reserved on the topic of sex is because of the pressured norms that are pushed onto people who may or may not want to be that way.
2. I think the main reason this happens because many people in high school were developing or developed their own sexuality (may that being promiscuous, or being gay, or not interested in sex at all, etc) didn't want express themselves because they feared how their family and friends would judge them. In college/university many live on campus, away from family and most of their old friends. So now that they are free many let loose and participate in many “hook-ups”. So in truth many high school students you know might be in future hook-ups, but will never do it now because they are stilled caged in their high school lifestyle. Many might not even know it now, but once they are free they might want to enjoy their freedom a little too much…
3. I would say it is pretty appropriate because the term “slut” is defined as a woman with many casual sexual encounters. A woman acting like stereotypical man would basically be doing the same thing as a man is known to have many sexual encounters. So if a woman with many casual sexual encounters is a slut and a stereotypical man has many casual sexual encounters we could deduce that woman is like a stereotypical man. By using deduction we could say that acting like a slut is acting like a stereotypical man. So this is appropriate as long as you acknowledge that is about a stereotypical man not all men.
Your blog post was an entertaining read! From the very beginning I felt myself nodding and agreeing to most of your views and opinions. Like you stated in the first paragraph, individuals are labelled right off the bat when they’re gender is revealed through an ultrasound. It’s truly unfortunate that people have to expect a certain thing from you according to what gender you are. It’s actually one of my biggest pet peeves. In my opinion, if a boy wants to play with Barbie’s and a girl enjoys driving remote control cars, why do we have to force them into a certain role? If we could just get rid of these frustrating “social norms” based on genders, people would have a breath of freedom because-let’s face it- these expectations weigh you down.
ReplyDeleteAnother one of your opinions that I agreed with was how the media portrays men and women roles in the hookup culture. I find in most media, it’s okay for men to be promiscuous yet when it’s a woman, she is immediately labelled as a whore or “an easy target” This obviously will affect young adolescent minds into thinking that this is true although it’s the total opposite. However there is something I disagree with. Like Laksikan stated above, I feel like you were biased towards females-which is obviously understandable why. Reading what you said in the third last paragraph, I feel like you put a label on all men by saying that they all objectified women and think in the similar way of “Oh, I would totally have sex with her.” Not all men are like this. Some may be in it for the physical pleasure but that doesn’t mean that all of them are. They’re also searching for the one to share an intimate connection with. Albeit, I liked how you clarified that there are also women out there that are just in it for physical pleasure and not all devoted to relationships.
Now to answer your question about whether the term ‘slut’ is an appropriate way to describe men like women are usually described: the answer is no. Like I said before, it’s basically labeling men and stereotyping them into being sexual beasts. But I also feel that it’s not appropriate that women are insulted for acting in a promiscuous manner while men are praised. In my opinion, promiscuous behavior should just be discouraged because-come on seriously? – who wants to deal with all these horny adolescents ಠ_ಠ
I vehemently agree with your points in the blog. It awakened the extremely feminist side of me and argued thoughts that always bothered me. However, it also made me think of something else all of a sudden... I'd actually rather we addressed the issue of youth being this sexually active and irresponsible rather than trying to achieve equality in the slander for the genders in this matter. I see this as automatically agreeing with the sexual reality of youth nowadays and I very much don't approve of any of it.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I remember always being warned that a women's dignity can only take one blow while men's can stand a lot. I wasn't taught this to believe men always had the right to do more treacherous deeds. I was taught this to be cautious of the way society regarded certain things and sometimes in some cases, conforming is a much better idea than rebelling. Rebellion against everything in society that has the slightest hint of inequality might just actually destroy the principles that keep societies intact. And I'm disregarding men when I say this, but I see it paradoxical to fight for the value and worth of the woman's body then fight for their right to degrade it. (yes, it's inarguable that sleeping around is degrading.)
Regarding the mental transition between the ignorance of adolescence and engaging in hookups, I believe it occurs the moment one is surrounded by people that encourage and applaud this kind of behavior, and sadly, these could be called "friends" and this could happen WAY before college. It's one of those realities I desperately try to dismiss and eat some cake and watch cats online to help in the process. (jk, i don't do that. That stuff is still really disturbing though ｡＾･ｪ･＾｡)
I agree with Laksikan's point that women are being seen as oppressed victims while men are seen as downright villains. However, I also agree that women stereotypes are not equal to men as mentioned in Hannah's post; examples such as it being socially unacceptable for a woman to hookup however, a man gets appraisal for it. Personally, I find it socially unacceptable for both sexes to have several sexual encounters with different people. I imagine if a person has fleeting sexual impulses for different people, their love for a person is flies by just as swiftly.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the bias though, Laksikan. When you brought up the point of the lack of equality for men in Hannah's blog, I felt that it was kind of ironic to her point. Her point being that females are scrutinized for doing what a male does, but forgetting to acknowledge that this can also apply the other way around. And it's just as damaging to man's confidence and self image as it is for a woman. The goal of feminism is EQUALITY, and not WOMEN over MEN.
When female protesters argued against societal norms that are unfair (and no longer to date), it pulls back a history of feminist movement that our society expects us to accept and be proud of. It's common to hear words of encouragement for feminine individuality. However, voices that scream for male individuality and equality are not often spoken out for because in history, men have always had the power in society. And in having that power all the time, a set of beliefs and attitudes establish a masculine role that men HAVE to play otherwise they risk being ostracized. Whether it be from a social group, or even an entire community. Bottom line, striving for men's equality is a minority. Acknowledging the pressures of growing up to be a "man", is a minority.